Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Playdate frustrations spilled.... here I am trying to decide how I really feel about this playgroup. On one hand, the playdates have been a consistent part of my life and Jayden's life for nearly 3 years. On the other hand, the group is sort of falling apart and there is very little if any participation on most weeks. Getting people to respond to "do you want to go to this" questions is like pulling teeth from a duck and then the response is usually "no".

So, why do I continue to put myself in a situation where I feel the need to keep the group going?!? Well, I tell myself that I need the others in the group as much as they need me, but I don't know that that is true. I think if I left the group no one would be the wiser and life would continue on. Then, I tell myself that the group is just going through some changes now with new babies and new houses and such; that I should be patient and see how things go. I don' t believe it though. I know that with small changes, big changes occur and nothing is the same as it was. When a new baby is added to the family, it gets more difficult for the family to get out and about. If things were challenging before, they are even more challenging after.

So, what do I do? Stick it out and hope that we all settle down again and have our regular playdates? Plan activities that I want to do and go at them all alone? Dump the group and find new people to hang with?? HELP!!! I don't know what to do! What I do know is that I am frustrated and lonely spending all my days with little adult interaction. The playdates are as much for me as they are the kids.

For any of you that actually read this and are in the playgroup, please don't think I am directing my frustrations at you personally. This is just in general to about the group and lack of participation in it and a cry for help about what I should do about it. Patience has never been my strong suit.


The Pizzitola Family said...

Darn I hate to read this. Here's my 2 cents...

Maybe a weekly playgroup is too much for some of the new moms and their new babies. Maybe you guys should make the playgroup a bi-weekly or even a monthly event. At least that way everyone could still get together and see each other, but it's not the hassel of going every week and someone saying...well maybe I'll miss this week. If it's not as often, then maybe they wouldn't be so tempted to not go and you'll have a great turnout.

Then that leaves you with being lonely...then I would just join another group or make new friends AND keep this group. As much as I hate to say it Lynda, don't worry about the other moms-because they apparently aren't worried about you. It's not that they don't want this playgroup or they don't care about you and the effort you put into it, I just think it's not their priority right now and going doesn't mean as much to them as it does to you.

All in all, do what is right for you. Maybe in a couple of months when all the babies are here and everyone is back on their feet things will start to get back to normal. Everyone just may need a playdate break.
I wished I was there...I'd be at group everyweek! I miss you all!

Lori said...

I'm sorry to hear that the group is breaking up too...but I do agree with Julie. The thing I've noticed with playgroups is that they tend to disolve when the kids reach 2 1/2 - 3 yrs old just because the kids get busy with other activities and preschool.

My suggestion, like Julie's, is to find other things to do while you wait to find out if things get better while this group settles into a better routine. YMCA offers many classes and the one near us even has free childcare while you do adult only things there. Maybe you can meet new people and/or try to find new playgroups in that type of setting. Have you also tried forming a playgroup with Eliana's age group?

One of the many reasons I see the group not showing up is one illness or another.. so if meeting up is important to keep the group connected .. it could help to schedule just once a month a short weekend get together for the women only (since it tends to be the kids that are sick). Even if only at someone elses house. That person could have their child(ren) but no one should feel like they need to bring their kid with them.. it is just a show up and socialize/relax event.

I treasured that you and I started this group ... you know how much it has helped me along the way. I will forever be thankful to you for that friendship from the first day. I would be attending too if I were there .. but then it's easier for me to say that than the other moms there because Mika is already an up and running toddler.